The concept of romantic love is an interesting one:
To a lot of people, most I know, it is a tangible thing. It is an unshakable truth of life and necessary before death. It is as important as having a job or staying healthy, sometimes even more so.
To others it’s simply an illusion, a mix of chemicals within the brain that results in euphoric feelings when in contact with another individual. A biological imperative that convinces us to breed in hope of sustaining human life.
To another group, it is complete nonsense and a waste of time, a distraction from ambition and success.
To the more paranoid, it is a mythological explanation for the above chemical processes created by the church for population control or capitalists for profit.
To me it’s something of a combination of all of the above. Truly I consider it a bonus. It is something that I desire, but I refuse to enjoy at the cost of my goals. Mainly because pursuit of one tends to weaken the pursuit of the other.
I have disappointed a lot of women in my lifetime. My strict desire for focus has kept me from committing to emotional relationships after noticing how they affect me creatively. Love has enhanced my motivation and abilities exponentially. However, the loss of that same love has triggered the polar opposite of that creative apex, leaving me without putting pen to paper for weeks, sometimes months. In this I often choose to put myself at arms length from all romantic endeavors to retain consistency. I may not be at my peak without love, but I am certainly not in a state of constant flux.
Recently I have let my guard down a little bit more, some to my benefit and some to my detriment. It seems now that the deciding factor is choice. I choose to let someone in and I can see where it leads me. As I age, I am realizing how all I have to do is simply pay attention and I will easily notice the signs that make a mate acceptable or not. Gaging a potential partner’s interest and potential is as simple as asking a few questions or observing behavior. No one is perfect, but everyone is capable of understanding.
I think that’s the key to long lasting love. Understanding is key. Seeing that a couple is comprised of two separate individuals set to a common goal instead of becoming a single entity. The archaic concepts of tradition and gender roles has clouded this and no one knows if they want to be two or one. The independence of the female gender has shown those views to be obsolete. Now, instead of men bringing home the bacon for women to fry, they can both hunt and cook together. This should bring relief instead of conflict. I can’t remember the source, but I believe the proper quote here is: “A burden shared is a burden halved.” Why not lessen the weight on your back with the one person you love?
All it requires is communication and an open mind. If a pair of people can understand each other and remember the goal of retaining their loving relationship, they can succeed. Neither one’s endeavors are more important than the other’s and neither one’s problems are larger than the other’s. Moral support is just as important as financial support, even more so in fact.
I’m not a relationship guru or anything. These are just the things I’ve come to understand and look for. I want love, I’m just not prioritizing it. I have much more I would like to be able to bring to the table before I do that. I would like to accomplish a few things so that I can focus more intently on that love that I hope to one day find. When I find my queen, she will not want for my attentions. She will deserve all that I can give. My only desire will be to give her more than I have.
The only drawback to this is the fact that I know life does not adhere to plans. Regardless of my wants I may stumble onto love. I may just one day bump into the lady of my destiny. I probably already have, I just have to look closer. That’s just fine with me.