There’s a theory that says that if you ever time traveled or you were cloned, you wouldn’t recognize yourself if you met yourself, because all you ever see is a reflected version of yourself with opposite features. A theory like that gets me thinking various things about reflections in general and what it means to look upon oneself with scrutiny as opposed to a quick familiar glance. Time travel in particular has always been a huge interest of mine (you’ll know I love Crosstime theories if you follow my work) and that’s another big one for me.
The average observer sees things in ways that are affected by his or her experiences and opinions (even though I believe opinion is experience, but that’s a different post), so how would the power of belief affect self-image if oneself is actually observed? Are you more attractive if you love yourself more or believe in your own success? Are you less attractive if you loathe yourself or see yourself as a failure?
What if you met yourself from 10 years ago? Would either of you recognize the other? Would my nineteen-year-old self feel akin to my more practical, current self at all after experiencing so many of life’s up and downs? Would my current self feel at all familiar with the bright eyed, optimistic and ambitious adolescent I was? These are questions that will never truly be answered, but I wonder about them. When I think about my past and my beliefs of that time, I had a hard time recognizing myself now, so it’s possible my younger self would fear for his future if we met. I’ve done and considered things he would’ve never even thought possible.
It makes me wonder if there is an advantage to the inability of seeing oneself. Would a complete lack of self-awareness make someone less prone to failure? Since failure is the perceived loss of that which is coveted, would that person be able to fail? What about those with no ambition? Does being blind to the future make decisions easier or more difficult, as weighing options against consequences is always a difficult scale to balance? Everything carries a reward to risk ratio that one must consider before acting, so would blindness of long term implications make one more daring, or simply more prone to disappointment?
These are the questions I am currently asking myself as I weigh my current options of remaining in California for the long term, or returning home permanently. There are pros and cons in every decisions, there are rewards and risks in every move. Sometimes it makes me believe that ignorance truly is bliss, because knowledge, though powerful, is often a burden. Perhaps I simply need to let go and roll the dice for once.