I am a solitary person. This has always been true of me. I am a connoisseur of silence. This is something that has always been seen as “weird.” However, the need to constantly be surrounded by other people is weird to me. My belief is that a person who cannot enjoy his or her own company is a person who is uncomfortable with his or her own thoughts. That’s not the type of person I am. My mind has always been a wonderful and visit playground for me. I believe that I can figure anything out with enough time and my own mind can certainly completely entertainment for very long periods of time.
I’ve always had a wealth of relatives, mostly cousins and older brothers, so growing up I didn’t have an abundance of alone time. Regardless of how I felt, people generally wanted my company and I actually enjoyed theirs. At the times I was able to find a measure of silence though, those were the times I truly cherished. My mind is my sanctuary and books are a close second. These are the places in which my imagination soars.
I think I decided to do this post because I want some form of understanding. I have much more concern for people’s opinions of my work than their opinions of me as a person, but I think it’s far to give people the opportunity to at least try to understand me. This is because understanding, in my belief, is a universal cure-all. If people strive to understand each other and that which confounds them, it will be much easier and better for everyone on the planet.
It is due to this belief, I am sharing this part of me. My love for peace and quiet. I wish it was possible to to share my solitude with certain people that I love, but that’s impossible by definition. It would be an excellent gift though, as it is in these times that I come up with my greatest ideas. I don’t fear my thoughts and I leap freely into the abyss of my mind at any given moment. I love it there. It holds a harmony that can’t be found elsewhere.
There have been moments where my mind needed help avoiding unhealthy places. Those times are when I have lost control of my thoughts. My inner peace is shattered and I cannot explore my own mind properly. These are the times in which I need outside distractions. I need to see family and friends and see that I am loved and my life is not so bad.
That is the true value of friendship. Being able to be there for the ones you love and having them be able to do the same for you. It is impossible to carry the weight of life alone and the more you have to share the burdens of both great and awful times, the better. I value both company and solitude, but I pity those who are too afraid to be alone or are too locked within themselves to surround themselves with loved ones.