I had been having a little bit of a rough run of things lately, which has made me a little inconsistent as far as the things I have to get done. For practically the entirety last week I was feeling unsure of myself and unmotivated to follow the schedule I have created for myself. I have run into a lot of disappointments over my lifetime, but it still hurts every time something happens contrary to my hopes and expectations.
Then as I was sitting in a drive through, I spotted a hummingbird. It flew back and forth past my window, collecting nector from the flowers in the small garden. I was so captivated by this beautiful creature, the car behind me had to honk at me to make me move forward and get my order. If you know anything about me, you know that I’m a massive lover of nature and my personal belief system is unconventional to say the least. Within that belief system and in my heart of hearts, hummingbirds are symbols of positive change. Even if that weren’t the case, they are beautiful creatures that flutter about ever so gracefully. Needless to say, my disposition was improved dramatically.
I felt better about a lot of the things that have been going on lately and I felt much more optimistic about my own future, adopting something of a “go with the flow” type of mind state. It was the latest sign on a long list of signs and hints that were leading me to that position. I have finally accepted the lack of control an individual has about life and I feel much better.
The next morning I went to the same place, but there was no hummingbird. However, once I made it back to the apartment complex, I looked up and discovered a hummingbird (not sure if it’s the same one) had taken up residence in the courtyard. In fact, I have been suddenly seeing hummingbirds nearly everyday since. The only days I haven’t seen one, were actually fairly miserable.
These signs have gotten me in a better place mentally and emotionally. I have accepted truths about myself and rejected falsehoods and I am ready to move forward. My personal reflections have definitely led me to a few decisions, the biggest of which is my focus. I will now be focusing my efforts on the things I have enjoyed doing the most. These things are dedicating more time into writing books, working on my podcast and nurturing the growth of Geekhaven Reviews. I will do what I love if it kills me and even if it never feeds me.